The shock of Gar’s death, immediately hit family and friends, in both clearly visible and, more concerningly, invisible ways. Grief is a shockwave, with a wide and scattered impact, jerking some of us into immediate action and others, like me, into a shell shocked, protective state, from which we are only able emerge slowly.
I’m incredibly grateful that Gar’s cousin, Sarah Winn, fell into the active, determined to do something, group. As an experienced actor and script writer, she knew immediately that she was going to use her theatre making skills, to create an absorbing, respectful and insightful piece about men, their mental health and spiritual wellbeing. Suicide is a loss like no other and the current statistic for men is shocking and on the increase. Her aim is to compassionately stir the audience out of any lingering complacency and stimulate positive, constructive and engaged waves of action.
The End and The Beginning
The result of Sarah’s dedicated efforts is No one Here is Me – a powerful verbatim play that unnervingly and compassionately exposes many of the issues around men’s mental health. It is a beautiful and sensitive balance of loss, survival and hope.
In 2023/24 Sarah was awarded a grant from the Arts Council, to undertake her own extensive research into men’s mental health, as seen and interpreted through her experience of Gar’s suicide, and to better understand how we, as a society, might serve men better.
In the first four months, Sarah began over a hundred conversations with organisations and charities that were either working directly with, or more widely supporting male health. Those connections, in turn, led to personal, one-to-one meetings with men, who were prepared to talk about, and share, the intimacy of their own experiences and mental health stories.
Sarah also had long, interview style, conversations with us, as Gar’s immediate family, so that our words and stories were available as invaluable material to the backbone of the play. With everyone’s full permission, Sarah recorded the conversations, transcribed them and then wove key sections together, to create the dialogue and experience that is No one Here is Me.
Music and Logo
We gave Sarah access to recordings of Gar’s singing and guitar playing, some of which we played at his funeral, and which now open and close the show. Hearing him through large, audio crisp speakers in a theatre is incredibly powerful.
And we involved Gar still further, as we decide on a logo. As a deeply personal piece, we knew that the font had to be hand scripted and it was his sister, Georgie, who had the wonderful idea that she could crop words and letters from Gar’s journals, to create what we have today.
Sarah’s research centred around her home region of Kent and Medway and created many new and helpful connections, for everyone she networked with. Men’s mental health is such an under resourced and huge subject, that the people who work in that arena everyday, don’t have any spare time, or additional capacity, to do much connecting themselves. Chance, or local conferences are often the way people meet.
Kent & Medway Annual Conference
A strong supporter from the beginning, has been the amazingly, Kent and Medway Mental Wellbeing team In 2024, they commissioned Sarah to produce a condensed 20 minute version of No one Here is Me, to be performed at their Suicide and Self-harm Prevention Conference.
The large room, with over 100 noisy attendees was silenced. During the performance you could hear a pin drop, and those asking questions at the end were clearly deeply moved.
2025 Performances of No one Here is Me
In 2024/25 Sarah was awarded a second grant from the Arts Council. It is highly unusual to receive a grant two years running, clearly a testament to the powerful impact of the play. This second grant is enabling the recording of a cinema quality trailer and the delivery of two new FREE performances at Margate Football Club (7.30pm Friday 28th March 2025) and Maidstone United Football Club (7.30pm Saturday 29th March 2025)
It has always been the intension that No one Here is Me will be performed in non-theatrical settings, so that it is readily accessible to everyone. Publicity for the events is underway and tickets are available through the links above and below. If you’re reading this before the March 2025 dates, please could you help us spread the word.
You can learn more about No one Here is Me from the website ( www.noonehereisme.co.uk ), follow on Instagram with @noonehere.isme and book tickets through the images below and the football club links above.
